Now Kate Austin makes use of her platform to share with you her tale, in an attempt to shatter stereotypes which help others feel less alone.
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Kate Austin makes use of Instagram to fairly share her experience as a feminine lesbian. / Photograph due to Kate Austin
Whom i will be: Kate Austin (@kateaustinn), a writer and influencer whom concentrates mostly on homosexual and issues that are lesbian.
“The only thing we really have you ever heard about homosexuality had been it was incorrect. I spent my youth in a brilliant spiritual home in Ohio, so that it ended up being hardly ever really explained further than that.
I do want to state the very first time I thought i may be homosexual was 7th grade. We seemed at myself into the mirror and ended up being like, ‘Oh my god, I think I’m gay. ’ I quickly had been like, ‘No, We can’t be. There’s no chance. I’m a Christian. ’
But i recall i might stalk girls on MySpace and get like, ‘Do I would like to be her or do I want to kiss her? ’ I didn’t understand how to navigate those emotions. I do believe I had therefore much homophobia that is internalized the location therefore the spiritual house I happened to be for the reason that my brain wouldn’t i’d like to drop that route.
Once I was at senior school, I became truly the only woman that has zero curiosity about anyone. That’s the age whenever girls are kid crazy. All my buddies started initially to phone me away to be homosexual. It wasn’t in a nice means. These people were all speaking behind my straight straight straight back. That occurred my freshman of high school year. Senior 12 months, I happened to be cheerleading in addition they began yelling at me personally and calling me personally a lesbian and fake making call at the stands.
I recall sobbing during halftime of the soccer game and went as much as the stands and chatted to my mom, who’s ridiculously religious. She had been like, ‘Well, are you currently? ’ I became like, ‘No no no no no, ’ attempting to clean it well. The way in which she ended up being responding ended up being protective. It had been extremely uncomfortable. We figured, ‘If this is the way people about it… around me are acting’
Then, in college, we decided to go to Mexico and cheated on a girl to my boyfriend whom been a lesbian. I tried to be normal and act like it never happened, but it was the only thing I could think about when I came home. It had been such as a light switch flipped, like, ‘Oh my god, just how have actually We been residing such as this? ’ I had never believed any emotions for someone that way before, and I’d met this individual 48 hours upfront. I thought, ‘This needs to be just just what girls felt in senior school about dudes. ’ I happened to be so excited it consumed me.
Four times later on, we separated with my boyfriend, but i did son’t tell my moms and dads or anybody yet. I desired to observe how things played down. We switched girls on on Tinder and went during that whole thing. But a close buddy really introduced us to the girl I’m still dating now, Sarah. We began messaging, and it also ended up being love in the beginning discussion. We began chatting rather than stopped.
That occurred in June. My twenty-first birthday was in August. Sarah lived in nj-new jersey, and she was invited by me and my pal whom introduced us to Ohio to commemorate my birthday celebration. I’ve five brothers, plus they arrived, so she was told by me, ‘We can’t work like we’re dating. My loved ones doesn’t know. ’ But i obtained therefore drunk, i did son’t care whom started and saw kissing her. These people were like, ‘You’re kissing a lady? What’s occurring? ’ They were told by me she had been my gf.
24 hours later, my mother told us she was identified as having breast cancer tumors, and that triggered my one sibling with actually serious anxiety to have a panic and anxiety attack. He told dad it had been because, ‘Mom has cancer of the breast and Katie’s homosexual. ’ We denied it at that time, but a week later on, we texted my mother and shared with her. She texted straight back and explained not to ever get back. She also began team speak to my loved ones and told everybody never to I would ike to stick with them.
I became working a dual change at Chili’s at that time, and my buddy Brian — he’s the mediator for the household — called me at the conclusion for the night time and told us to come stick to him. About an and a half later, i went back to my mom and had a conversation week. It ended up beingn’t great. She said I could go home, but I experienced to pay for lease. I did son’t have sufficient conserved to go get a condo by myself, but I did son’t have virtually any alternatives during the time. We lived here for around a year, working three jobs and saving up cash, after which relocated to south jersey with sarah.
We’ve lived when you look at the Gayborhood in Philly for around 3 years now. It is loved by me. Personally I think so fortunate. We cross the road, and there’s rainbow crosswalks. In Ohio, every person gets stuck inside their day-to-day, and absolutely nothing ever changes. It is constantly the drama that is same you are going house. Here, folks are therefore progressive and creative. I’m just like individuals during my governmental stance. We see partners hands that are holding over my neighborhood. Whenever people message me personally on Instagram, i let them know to locate city that is progressive and then leave. You can keep coming back, however you need to get down to start with.